Thursday, December 10, 2009

Leave It All Before His Throne....I did and found freedom!

About a year ago, I was sitting down doing my devotional and quickly realized that God was really trying to get through me. I had no idea how heavy my heart felt while dealing with infertility and other issues such as the news that my grandfather's health going downhill quickly. The entire devotional that day was dealing with my heart on a personal level. I tried to continue reading but couldn't do it anymore...I broke down. I couldn't stop sobbing, I was feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, everything seemed like a big blur. It's always harder to move forward when the future is unknown huh? But I realized that I had done all I could on my part to be strong and that now God wanted me to fully surrender to HIM! Honestly, many times I felt that I couldn't do much to alleviate the situations..all I could really do was pray, trust God and be still. God decided to have a heart-to-heart with me that day. I closed my devotional book and poured out my heart to God....I was completely transparent with Him. I was real and held nothing back. Boy did I sobbed that day. I pretty much bowed before His throne and surrender everything to Him. I knew this is was He wanted from me because many a times I had no control over situations I was "trying" to fix on my own. After about an hour and a half of nonstop praying/sobbing I felt the kinda of peace I felt the day I rededicated my life to Christ..the kind of peace only the Lord Almighty can give. I literally felt the weight being taken off my shoulders and I was once again able to breath a breath of fresh air. I felt like a brand new person ready to conquer the world. God filled my thoughts with beautiful scripture and filled me once again with strength and hope to move forward! Funny thing is....all this happened while my husband was mowing the lawn in the backyard. God took care of the loud lawnmower and my husband didn't even noticed. It was just God and I......every else became a blur. I knew that everything would be ok and that God would begin to do great things. BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Later on that day as I washed dishes, I felt the need to look out the window and couldn't believe my eyes.....all the way by the back fence was a beautiful pink I'd never seen there before. I quickly asked my husband if he had planted any seeds back there and he said no. I pointed out the flower to him and he couldn't believe his eyes. I then looked at him with a big smile and said, "I know who put it there...God..babe..God is with us and everything will be ok". He smiled and agreed. I was so amazed that I couldn't stop admiring the flower from the distance. I starred at it through the window and smiled through my tears because I knew that this was God's way of letting me know that He was right by my side no matter what! As I continued to contemplate on it I told myself, "maybe this is God's way of letting me know that He's going to bless us with the baby we've been praying for , the way He blessed Hannah and that our baby will be a baby girl!!! And now, a year later, I am carrying the baby He so lovingly promised us......a baby GIRL! It gives me the chills to see His Majesty, His Power and His desire to fulfill our dreams!

I want you to know that:

* God hears your cry and truly cares
* God has great plans for your life
*If you surrender EVERYTHING and I mean every bit of you to Him....amazing things will begin to happen

* God is always just have to take the time to see Him

*No one can take away the special encounters you have with our Lord...they are real and they are yours to keep forever!
* God honors humility and honesty..."the weak will become strong"

*God created you and knows you like no one else ever will....He knows what makes you happy!

This is what I saw through my window:

This is my precious pink flower from God in all her beauty:

(She wanted to sleep and the tech kept waking her up)

(She kept covering her eyes hahaha)

(look at my hand)



Tammy On the Go said...

beautiful post, flower and face!

Casey's trio said...

I'm glad all is going well with your pregnancy and that you have so many blessings in your life!

Christian Mommy Writer said...

A very inspirational post! God is so awesome!

Anonymous said...

Wow Susan,

Even though you are literaly across the country, you still have your special way of inspiring me. By the way, I can tell that Karina is going to be beautiful just like her mommy!

Miss you,

Lisa :)

La Familia Garcia said...

That is beautiful! The flower and your precious little girl! How great to know she's going to have such godly parents and be raised knowing God at such a young tender age.

kristilea said...

What a beautiful post! I pray it will truly help and bless someone who is carrying too heavy a load right now.

I love the pictures of your baby girl! Hold onto those! I still love to look at all of my sonogram pictures which are now in there respective scrapbooks.

I pray that you and all your family will have a Very Merry Christmas!

The First Lady said...

Sometimes, when I read your posts, I feel like you and I are kindred spirits.

When you get a chance, please read my old blog "Remember When We Danced" (if you haven't already) and you'll see why. :)

Much love to you,

Shannon said...

I don't know how, but I came across this post in a search and just want to say a big "Thank You". Today has been a really tough day (I won't go into details), and I really lost sight. Your story was beautiful and helped me remember that I am not as alone as I feel. Thank you and God bless you and your beautiful family.